Monday I started at a new place of employment. The last three years of my life has been in the web hosting industry and in WordPress. WordPress has been good to me. In fact, I’ve got to travel the country, make some fantastic friends, and catch up with old ones because of WordPress.
In the end though, I wanted something new. I haven’t hid the fact that I’m Christian. It can be tough in technology being Christian. It’s an industry filled with people that operate on logic. And let’s face it, sometimes, faith and logic do not align. I’m okay with that. There are some things in my walk with Christ I cannot explain. I dont care to. I’m okay not knowing everything (I’m sure my wife will be happy to quote me on this later).
Anyways, I’ve prayed for almost a year for an opportunity to wash away my brash attitude. To find ways to soften my demeanor. I wanted purpose again. To feel like I was in the place where God wanted me and I was doing what He wanted me to do.
Time passed and I was discouraged. Even jobs I thought I wanted presented themselves but never materialized. Gods timing is perfect. God rarely answers my prayers as I see it. I think partly to let me know that it’s God and not me. I’m okay with that too.
The door opens at CBN for an analysts position. I love numbers. I get to work on enterprise level data sets. And it’s Christian. I’ve never really worked anywhere that was not only a Christian organization but staffed with Christians. This is where the anxiety and nerves kick it.
I’m not a corporate Christian. Praying in public with people I don’t know makes me uncomfortable. Singing in general makes me uncomfortable (I’m pretty sure I’m tone deaf). And now, I’m working at a job where we have chapel every single day. That’s right. Singing and praying with a new set of folks I don’t know.
So much for comfort. But it’s okay. I’ve found working with generally happy people makes me happy. Okay I said it. I’m happy. I’m smiling. Not to say its not completely and utterly exhausting. It is. Everyday, I leave work feeling exhausted. I guess in part, when you feel like the work you are doing is connected to God, you pour more into it. But also the general happy demeanor is tiring. Smiling all the time. Holding doors for people and asking them how their day is. Greeting people and showing general empathy.
Well, its a learning process for me. And I’m trying. I’m spending more time with Jesus everyday than I ever have. I’m finding myself more comfortable praying around others I don’t know. I’m finding joy in throwing myself into opportunities to serve others.
Did I mention its only my third day…